Just a few yucks!


1. Coors put its slogan, "Turn it loose," into Spanish, where it was read as "Suffer from diarrhea".

2. Scandinavian vacuum manufacturer Electrolux used the following in an American campaign: Nothing sucks like an Electrolux.

3. Clairol introduced the "Mist Stick", a curling iron, into German only to find out that "mist" is slang for manure. Not too many people had use for the "manure stick".

4. When Gerber started selling baby food in Africa, they used the same packaging as in the US, with the beautiful Caucasian baby on the label. Later they learned that in Africa, companies routinely put pictures on the label of what's inside, since most people can't read.

5. Colgate introduced a toothpaste in France called Cue, the name of a notorious porno magazine.

6. An American T-shirt maker in Miami printed shirts for the Spanish market which promoted the Pope's visit. Instead of "I saw the Pope" (el Papa), the shirts read "I saw the potato" (la papa).

7. Pepsi's "Come alive with the Pepsi Generation" translated into "Pepsi brings your ancestors back from the grave", in Chinese

8. Frank Perdue's chicken slogan, "it takes a strong man to make a
tender chicken" was translated into Spanish as "it takes an aroused man to make a chicken affectionate".

9. The Coca-Cola name in China was first read as "Ke-kou-ke-la", meaning "Bite the wax tadpole" or "female horse stuffed with wax", depending on the dialect. Coke then researched 40,000 characters to find a phonetic equivalent "ko-kou-ko-le", translating into "happiness in the mouth".

10. When Parker Pen marketed a ball-point pen in Mexico, its ads were supposed to have read, "it won't leak in your pocket and embarrass you". Instead, the company thought that the word "embarazar" (to impregnate) meant to embarrass, so the ad read: "It won't leak in your pocket and make you pregnant".

A Joke for ya!

A man who is driving a car is stopped by a police officer.< The following exchange takes place....
The man says, "What's the problem officer?"
Officer: You were going at least 75 in a 55 zone.
Man: No sir, I was going 65.
Wife: Oh, Harry. You were going 80. [Man gives his wife a dirty look].
Officer: I'm also going to give you a ticket for your broken tail light..
Man: Broken taillight? I didn't know about a broken taillight!
Wife: Oh Harry, you've known about that taillight for weeks.
[Man gives his wife another dirty look.]
Officer: I'm also going to give you a citation for not wearing your seat belt.
Man: Oh, I just took it off when you were walking up to the car.
Wife: Oh, Harry, you never wear your seat belt.
Man turns to his wife and yells: "Shut your damn mouth!"
Officer turns to the woman and asks, "Ma'am, does your husband talk to you this way all the time?"
Wife says: "No, only when he's drunk."

Days of the week!

Sunday~ Is it supposed to be Sunny all day?

Monday~ Just mundane, I guess.

Tuesday~ Is it 2 for 1?

Wednesday~ Is it windy all day?

Thursday~ Are you thirsty this day?

Friday~ Are you supposed to eat fried foods?

Saturday~ Just sat around all day?

Food For Thought:

Is there another word for synonym?
Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice?"
When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?
Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?"
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?
Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

You might be a Yankee if:

1) You think condiments are the longer version of the word condoms.
2) Spicy foods give you heartburn.

3)You have never eaten grits...

4) You only put salt on popcorn.

5) You don't know why anyone would put peanuts in their coke.

6) You call all softdrinks SODA.

7) You think cocktail sauce is a drink w/ sauce in it.

8) You refused to eat BBQ Ribs because they are messy.

9) You don't watch fishing shows on Saturdays.

10) You think a Southern Belle is a bell made in the south.

11)You love the Green bay Packers.

12) You don't see anything wrong with putting clothes on animals

13) You don't have any pinwheels, or other tacky decorations in your yard.

14) You roll down your window on the highway, if someone waves, and ask "What the hell is your problem?"

15)You pay someone to rake your leaves.

16) You use the phrase "you guys", even if you are talking to ladies.

17) You have never been to a rodeo.

18) You don't know who Ernest Tubbs is.

19) You love bratwurst, but won't touch potted meat.

20) The only use you have for duct tape is near your air vents.

21) You have never been to a crab boil.

22) You don't own a pair of over-alls.

23) The farthest south you've ever been is nowhere near the Mason-Dixon Line.

24) You think "chaw" is something Indians do.

25) You have more than one pair of colored socks.

26) You don't bother saying good-bye when you hang up the phone.

27)You don't buy covers for Kleenex boxes.

28) You have never been to the Piggly Wiggly.

29) If someone talks to you, that you don't know, you turn and walk away.

30) You don't know when Elvis was born.

31) You never ask "How's Your mama?".

32) You wear sweat pants 6 months out of the year.

33) You don't call your mother, "Mama"

34) You don't go to the beach because you are ghostly white.

35) You think "Swinging" is only done at the park.

36) You drink Miller beer, instead of anything else!

37)You never heard anyone say "cut the lights off". So you go get a saw.

38) You think skating on ice is ok.

39) You have insurance on your car battery

40) You have never uttered the word Ya'll

41) You have never been to Mardi Gras.

42) You think that pepper is just a vegetable.

43) You call an interstate, a "Freeway."

44) You don't own any boots!

45) You don't use old tires for planters.

46) At wedding receptions, you listen to the band play polkas.

47)You don't eat collard greens.

48) You think that "fat-back" is an ugly name to call someone.

49) You don't have any "cut-offs"

50) You call your pants trousers, instead of "britches".

51) You wear undershirts.

52) You never understood the concept of hip-boots.

53) You don't know what a levee is.

54) If someone says "come see" you reply "see what?"

55) You don't open doors for ladies, because they have arms.

56) You don't asked to be excused from the table.

57) You hate the Dallas Cowboys.

58) You think "steer" just means to drive.

59) You have never taken a tractor to a bar.

60)You don't have any kids named Junior.

61) You have never watched the Beverly Hillbillies.

62)You say Hi, instead of Hey!

63) You have never called your living room, your "front room"

64) You say restroom, instead of bathroom.

65) You are offended by this material.

Facts you can amaze your friends with:

  • Cat's urine glows under a blacklight.
  • The highest point in Pennsylvania is lower than the lowest point in Colorado.
  • Nutmeg is extremely poisonous if injected intravenously.
  • Hershey's Kisses are called that because the machine that makes them looks like it's kissing the conveyor belt.
  • The sentence "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog." Uses every letter in the alphabet.
  • In every episode of Seinfeld there is a Superman somewhere.
  • Average life span of a major league baseball: 7 pitches.
  • A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why.
  • In the 1940s, the FCC assigned television's Channel 1 to mobile services (two-way radios in taxicabs, for instance) but did not re-number the other channel assignments. That is why your TV set has channels 2 and up, but no channel 1.
  • The San Francisco Cable cars are the only mobile National Monuments.
  • The only 15 letter word that can be spelled without repeating a letter is uncopyrightable.
  • Did you know that there are coffee flavored PEZ?
  • The reason firehouses have circular stairways is from the days of yore when the engines were pulled by horses. The horses were stabled on the ground floor and figured out how to walk up straight staircases.
  • The airplane Buddy Holly died in was the "American Pie." (Thus the name of the Don McLean song.)
  • When opossums are playing 'possum, they are not "playing." They actually pass out from sheer terror.
  • The Main Library at Indiana University sinks over an inch every year because when it was built, engineers failed to take into account the weight of all the books that would occupy the building.
  • Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history. Spades - King David, Clubs - Alexander the Great, Hearts - Charlemagne, and Diamonds - Julius Caesar.
  • 111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321
  • If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle; if the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died as a result of wounds received in battle; if the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.
  • Clans of long ago that wanted to get rid of their unwanted people without killing them used to burn their houses down - hence the
    expression "to get fired."
  • Only two people signed the Declaration of Independence on July 4th, John Hancock and Charles Thomson. Most of the rest signed on August 2, but the last signature wasn't added until 5 years later.
  • "I am." is the shortest complete sentence in the English language.
  • The term "the whole 9 yards" came from WWII fighter pilots in the Pacific. When arming their airplanes on the ground, the .50 caliber machine gun ammo belts measured exactly 27 feet, before being loaded into the fuselage. If the pilots fired all their ammo at a target, it got "the whole 9 yards."
  • The phrase "rule of thumb" is derived from an old English law which stated that you couldn't beat your wife with anything wider than your thumb.
  • An ostrich's eye is bigger that it's brain.
  • The longest recorded flight of a chicken is thirteen seconds.
  • The Eisenhower interstate system requires that one mile in every five must be straight. These straight sections are usable as airstrips in times of war or other emergencies.
  • David Prowse was the guy in the Darth Vader suit in Star Wars. He spoke all of Vader's lines, and didn't know that he was going to be dubbed over by James Earl Jones until he saw the screening of the movie.
  • The name Jeep came from the abbreviation used in the army for the "General Purpose" vehicle, G.P.
  • The Pentagon, in Arlington, Virginia, has twice as many bathrooms as is necessary. When it was built in the 1940s, the state of Virginia still had segregation laws requiring separate toilet facilities for blacks and whites.
  • The cruise liner, Queen Elizabeth II, moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel that it burns.
  • If you have three quarters, four dimes, and four pennies, you have $1.19. You also have the largest amount of money in coins without being able to make change for a dollar.
  • No NFL team which plays its home games in a domed stadium has ever won a Superbowl.
  • The first toilet ever seen on television was on "Leave It To Beaver".
  • The only two days of the year in which there are no professional sports games (MLB, NBA, NHL, or NFL) are the day before and the day after the Major League All-Star Game.
  • Only one person in two billion will live to be 116 or older.
  • The name Wendy was made up for the book "Peter Pan."
  • In Cleveland, Ohio, it's illegal to catch mice without a hunting license.
  • It takes 3,000 cows to supply the NFL with enough leather for a year's supply of footballs.
  • Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating are already married.
  • There are an average of 178 sesame seeds on a McDonald's Big Mac bun.
  • The world's termites outweigh the world's humans 10 to 1.
  • Pound for pound, hamburgers cost more than new cars.
  • The 3 most valuable brand names on earth: Marlboro, Coca-Cola, and Budweiser, in that order.
  • When Heinz ketchup leaves the bottle, it travels at a rate of 25 miles per year.
  • It's possible to lead a cow upstairs...but not downstairs.
  • The Bible has been translated into Klingon.
  • Humans are the only primates that don't have pigment in the palms of their hands.
  • Ten percent of the Russian government's income comes from the sale of vodka.
  • Ninety percent of New York City cabbies are recently arrived immigrants.
  • On average, 100 people choke to death on ball-point pens every year.
  • In 10 minutes, a hurricane releases more energy than all the world's nuclear weapons combined.
  • Reno, Nevada is west of Los Angeles, California.
  • Average age of top GM executives in 1994: 49.8 years. Average age of the Rolling Stones: 50.6.
  • Elephants can't jump. Every other mammal can.
  • The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.
  • Five Jell-O flavors that flopped: celery, coffee, cola, apple, and chocolate.
  • According to one study, 24% of lawns have some sort of lawn ornament in their yard.
  • Internationally, Baywatch is the most popular TV show in history.

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