GREAT MARKETING SCREW UPs
1. Coors put its slogan, "Turn it loose," into Spanish, where it was read as "Suffer from diarrhea".
2. Scandinavian vacuum manufacturer Electrolux used the following in an American campaign: Nothing sucks like an Electrolux.
3. Clairol introduced the "Mist Stick", a curling iron, into German only to find out that "mist" is slang for manure. Not too many people had use for the "manure stick".
4. When Gerber started selling baby food in Africa, they used the same packaging as in the US, with the beautiful Caucasian baby on the label. Later they learned that in Africa, companies routinely put pictures on the label of what's inside, since most people can't read.
5. Colgate introduced a toothpaste in France called Cue, the name of a notorious porno magazine.
6. An American T-shirt maker in Miami printed shirts for the Spanish market which promoted the Pope's visit. Instead of "I saw the Pope" (el Papa), the shirts read "I saw the potato" (la papa).
7. Pepsi's "Come alive with the Pepsi Generation" translated into "Pepsi brings your ancestors back from the grave", in Chinese
8. Frank Perdue's chicken slogan, "it takes a strong man to make a
tender chicken" was translated into Spanish as "it takes an aroused man to make a chicken affectionate".
9. The Coca-Cola name in China was first read as "Ke-kou-ke-la", meaning "Bite the wax tadpole" or "female horse stuffed with wax", depending on the dialect. Coke then researched 40,000 characters to find a phonetic equivalent "ko-kou-ko-le", translating into "happiness in the mouth".
A man who is driving a car is stopped by a police officer.<
The following exchange takes place....
The man says, "What's the problem officer?"
Officer: You were going at least 75 in a 55 zone.
Man: No sir, I was going 65.
Wife: Oh, Harry. You were going 80. [Man gives his wife a dirty look].
Officer: I'm also going to give you a ticket for your broken tail light..
Man: Broken taillight? I didn't know about a broken taillight!
Wife: Oh Harry, you've known about that taillight for weeks.
[Man gives his wife another dirty look.]
Officer: I'm also going to give you a citation for not wearing your seat belt.
Man: Oh, I just took it off when you were walking up to the car.
Wife: Oh, Harry, you never wear your seat belt.
Man turns to his wife and yells: "Shut your damn mouth!"
Officer turns to the woman and asks, "Ma'am, does your husband talk to you this way all the time?"
Wife says: "No, only when he's drunk."
Sunday~ Is it supposed to be Sunny all day?
Monday~ Just mundane, I guess.
Tuesday~ Is it 2 for 1?
Wednesday~ Is it windy all day?
Thursday~ Are you thirsty this day?
Friday~ Are you supposed to eat fried foods?
Saturday~ Just sat around all day?
Is there another word for synonym?
Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice?"
When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?
Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?"
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?
Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
1) You think condiments are the longer version of the word condoms.
2) Spicy foods give you heartburn.
3)You have never eaten grits...
4) You only put salt on popcorn.
5) You don't know why anyone would put peanuts in their coke.
6) You call all softdrinks SODA.
7) You think cocktail sauce is a drink w/ sauce in it.
8) You refused to eat BBQ Ribs because they are messy.
9) You don't watch fishing shows on Saturdays.
10) You think a Southern Belle is a bell made in the south.
11)You love the Green bay Packers.
12) You don't see anything wrong with putting clothes on animals
13) You don't have any pinwheels, or other tacky decorations in your yard.
14) You roll down your window on the highway, if someone waves, and ask "What the hell is your problem?"
15)You pay someone to rake your leaves.
16) You use the phrase "you guys", even if you are talking to ladies.
17) You have never been to a rodeo.
18) You don't know who Ernest Tubbs is.
19) You love bratwurst, but won't touch potted meat.
20) The only use you have for duct tape is near your air vents.
21) You have never been to a crab boil.
22) You don't own a pair of over-alls.
23) The farthest south you've ever been is nowhere near the Mason-Dixon Line.
24) You think "chaw" is something Indians do.
25) You have more than one pair of colored socks.
26) You don't bother saying good-bye when you hang up the phone.
27)You don't buy covers for Kleenex boxes.
28) You have never been to the Piggly Wiggly.
29) If someone talks to you, that you don't know, you turn and walk away.
30) You don't know when Elvis was born.
31) You never ask "How's Your mama?".
32) You wear sweat pants 6 months out of the year.
33) You don't call your mother, "Mama"
34) You don't go to the beach because you are ghostly white.
35) You think "Swinging" is only done at the park.
36) You drink Miller beer, instead of anything else!
37)You never heard anyone say "cut the lights off". So you go get a saw.
38) You think skating on ice is ok.
39) You have insurance on your car battery
40) You have never uttered the word Ya'll
41) You have never been to Mardi Gras.
42) You think that pepper is just a vegetable.
43) You call an interstate, a "Freeway."
44) You don't own any boots!
45) You don't use old tires for planters.
46) At wedding receptions, you listen to the band play polkas.
47)You don't eat collard greens.
48) You think that "fat-back" is an ugly name to call someone.
49) You don't have any "cut-offs"
50) You call your pants trousers, instead of "britches".
51) You wear undershirts.
52) You never understood the concept of hip-boots.
53) You don't know what a levee is.
54) If someone says "come see" you reply "see what?"
55) You don't open doors for ladies, because they have arms.
56) You don't asked to be excused from the table.
57) You hate the Dallas Cowboys.
58) You think "steer" just means to drive.
59) You have never taken a tractor to a bar.
60)You don't have any kids named Junior.
61) You have never watched the Beverly Hillbillies.
62)You say Hi, instead of Hey!
63) You have never called your living room, your "front room"
64) You say restroom, instead of bathroom.
65) You are offended by this material.
Got any more?
Would you like to search for more humor?
Drop me an E-mail